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september

warm orange has turned to deep brown
this is the hardest month
yet i adore it so much
endless new books
and the smell of old ones
leaves covering the ground
like shards of golden glass
breaking beneath my feet
hot coffee
soft blankets
and darkened hair
all my favourite things
in theory
in reality
i spend it 
beneath a weighted duvet
and weighted thoughts
spaced out and cold
every year
i'm reminded i exist
that i must exist
despite the fact i don't want to
and all the pills in the world
won't kill the pain of september
october is so much better
and more beautiful
she's more gentle
i adore october
it's arrival will comfort me
and strengthen me
so i can survive the winter
for one more year

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