my love

the sky is a lovely shade of lilac and i want to sleep this year has been an eternity i've lived a lifetime within its weeks despite it being march my friends are few and far apart separated  by distance and disease  and immense uncertainty  the sun is shining almost tauntingly with the knowledge we cannot enjoy it in each-others company  we're in quarantine  self-isolation and social distancing words not in my vocabulary until the start of last week yet now their meanings consume me they are our new reality for an unforeseeable future and all the phone calls and texts and pictures we've shared from gardens and bedrooms none of it will compare to the day we're reunited under this vast blue sky holding onto each other tightly  with such happiness we'll cry but until then i shall be content  with hearing your voices on the phone and your face through grainy filters  from the safety of my home flower...

and in case we never speak again for whatever reason just know the effect you had on me will last longer than our time together i became content with silence and found happiness in your company you never needed to say anything i was fine with not knowing because words will never compete with the amount of respect you gave to me freely from day one and i realised there are good people who i can share the night with and the day with and all the in between moments with without compromise you made me feel weightless no heaviness hung on my heart or my limbs i was made of light and joy and i got to see the sun again at her best because i wanted to wake up for the first time in a long time you're a lot like the sun you rise with the birds and make the day better there are so many things i am going to write that you will never read because i won't burden you with memories we never had time to complete but i got to spend a year with your warmth across...

its early ambiguously early birds are calling so i can tell its the morning but the sun is yet to wake up as are you, it's dark but i know you're there your warmth radiates into me unrelentingly but i'm grateful for it my eyes closed for a second yet hours passed it's quiet a nice quiet the backdrop of unwavering safety to just sleep with arms weaved together and fingers interlocked, and if knew this was the last time for a long time i would have held on a little tighter and kept you a little closer enjoying the ambiguity and the certainty that you were here right now at this in-between hour where time doesn't exist because at this moment neither of us know that after the sun rises and sets again everything will happen and we'll end up counting seconds and kisses and squeezing hands breaking down and calming down until everything becomes quiet again except this time i'm not grateful for it and everything is ambiguous ag...