my love

staring at the ceiling on an empty stomach for the third time this week voices whisper and taunt me that i haunt nobody's dreams, nor am i a passing thought never shown as much love as i myself brought to everyone, fuck if i ever write a poem about anyone again i wish they could stay there and then if the ink was ever to bleed or i hit delete, they would disappear with it, god it feels like fucking forever since someone touched me with intention so many honorable mentions in this hall of infamy i wanted you and you and you to be interested in me too, funny how it always ends up hopelessly romantic and pathetically pedantic  you're documented in my foolish decision to turn you into something  perfect you were undeserving, making me playlists and tainting songs sorry if this comes across too strong but i wish i'd never met you sometimes and you only existed within these lines the honey that dripped from your lips onto mine has spoiled,  i know there's poems written abo...

l ets sit outside on the front step smoke a zoot, silence looks good on you the street is still, nothing awake but the faintest chill stroking the back of my neck playfully its just us, and the spiders i know i complain but  i really don't mind it you're just braver than me, honestly this house far older than both of us  yet we brought it to life the walls would complain if they could maybe if they understood, they'd leave us alone, what happens when the front door closes, the cold is kissing our noses i'm sure the stars are staring back at us when we look up and see nothing  making wishes on planes, just to feel something two lonely girls in the city dwelling in self pity and hopelessness is this it? i fucking hope not but for now i'm content, this friendship has meant more than any of the boys that came before and after, even though they feel like everything just switch off, don't reply  he doesn't deserve you and no, it's not a lie this will pass too ...

i left my mind on crushed blue velvet in a crack among the cushions it stayed there whilst i slipped onto the cold wooden floor sinking slowly i could no longer tell where my body ended and the ground started anymore glassy eyes pointing upwards like a doll, discarded my physical self finally departed warm and still, a lucid dream if you will yet i comprehend nothing and no longer wish to red wine replaced my blood my veins begin to flood and all i can hear are the whispers in the trees and soft breathing laying next to me  to replicate my heartbeat the mind is a wonderful manipulator  disguised as reason it has motherly venom that drips and poisons reminding me how starved my skin must be of gentleness and sincerity her standards impossible to meet we share our burdens quietly  but our minds are far away stuck in an endless summer burning themselves out  like old rolls of film erasing the past, replacing the present don't you feel content lets read together, go for ...